Waking to the bright light of a new day
After a long night broken by a lost heart
Under a tree that danced with sunshine
I was stunned by waking and the quiet
Of musical spheres as the sweet scent
Of a single golden fruit beckoned to me
I reached out and she came away easy
And free as a wild fox in a forest glade
Evolved to fear and hate everything
Hidden in the dark, lying in wait —
Awake in the night, no moon to break
The seamless shadow that surround us,
We are too easily let loose like cannibal
Wolves by any pretender to the pack.
With only ourselves to devour, endless
Hunger spells our end in whole or part.
Silver and gold in the rain
And shuttering dark.
Looking back to being born in the night
Of still, warm air and too shallow water,
It’s no longer you that I miss, no longer
Your beauty that stirs me, no longer our
Story I want to tell or our past recapture.
I miss the self I left lost in the moments
We scattered like dust motes in a wind
That was always blowing between us,
The self I chose to leave behind with the
Fading memory of a girl high on a wall.
Your heart can break and die and fall to
Pieces like bloody shards of empty glass;
The dark can last a hundred solid years,
Dull as sand and yet like sleight of hand,
Someone new may suddenly dawn for you
And all the rest of your days may be borne
By a weightless river in a full new heart.
Run out of words for love,
Its song falls silent when
You go, leaving a stone
That cant’t stomached
But has to be swallowed.
The falling in is a deep
Dive out of the warm light
And into a collapsing well
That thunders into itself
As the water waits below.
Love is hard and strong
As a warrior’s heart, but
It beats and breaks inside
A skin like candy glass
And wishing to hold fire.
Everything’s an illusion,
And I imagine myself in
The ordinary world of senses;
But this feeling like a knife
Is something I can’t let go.
The thought of you fills
And kills me like a drunken
Madness whether warmed
By your presence or chilled
In the absence of everything.
Each candid, careful mention of a lover or dalliance
Opens my mind and closes my heart, falling
Like a shadow of ice, a grinning lictor pointing
To a precipice, sly invitation to sad self-destruction.
This love is deep enough to drown itself, sweet
As poison, and all I have in a world I cannot
Understand, a life I sometimes cannot live,
And a sunlike woman I cannot hope to hold.
In a world blessed with all the beauty we can know,
But that is also by turns alien and hostile – subjected
To lives fragile as paper lanterns caught in a stormy
Sky and on turbulent waters, I have for now a place.
In you a warm sun, joy and peace, are the contestants
In a game of love I long to neither win nor lose, shelter
Without any walls or roof but the lofty vault of heaven.
Blind caresses show me a way, the low door in the wall
That has always been waiting, tomorrow and tomorrow
By magical accident, the coincidence of desire and fate.
High on the wall standing between tomorrow
And yesterdays heavy as gold light as an arrow
I find and sift a collection of gilt-laden objects
Fingerprints and photos of the living and their dead
In a photograph
She sits on a high ruin wall
Sadly smiling at the crystal eye
Night falls unseen
In the other world she’s departed
While shadows reach the valley floor
“Stranger, where is she?”
I ask the fleshless dark
But neither dreams nor answers come
Just the memory
Of summers fallen down a well
And shining from depths below depths
I do and don’t return
To a place a barely know but need
Beyond finding, always out of reach
It’s safe in silver oxide somewhere
Basking in warm, sweet lemon light,
Soft as the sun’s heavenly embrace,
I had a desperate dream I would be
Resurrected and restored, reunited
With the lost self, reaffirmed by new
Bonds that would prove unbreakable
Bulwarks against the rapidly rising
Tides of future days & yellow moons.
This magic, this woman, this tree
Of life laden with fruit of joy and long
Thorns that jeopardize hungry hands
And full hearts, threatening blood,
Loss and burning, promising love.